Confession.

Alright, despite the previous post, I did not in fact confront lewd perviness by being a total badass. Today, my creepy co-worker scuttled into the lactation room. Fortunately, everything was covered and put away. Alas, my response was the very simple human one. Yup, I stood there with a dumb look on my face, trying to force my brain around the reality that a skeezy male was standing in the boob room.

The conversation went something like:

Him: "Oops" (leaving room quickly)
Me: (30 seconds later) "What the #@%!"

As gratifying as a beat-down with a nipple pump would have felt, I'm pursuing the much more lame (and safe) HR course of action. And, a co-worker pointed out, the sicko probably would have gotten off on being touched by something recently used on an actual boob.

Part of me still doesn't believe that he actually had the audacity to do it.

Objection.

Dear Office Creeper:

In the two years we have worked together, every conversation held has been exclusively between you and my chest. I get it. You like boobs.

However, your recent habit of cruising through the lactation room needs to end. (There is a huge sign on the door labeling said room as for the exclusive use of nursing mothers. No one buys that you coming through there is an accident. Especially since you are a repeat offender.) Now yes, there is a slight possibility you may catch a glimpse of a nipple when you pop in there. But trust me dude, what is happening to that nipple is about as far removed from sexy as possible.

In short, stop being a letch. The payoff isn't worth it, and I swear to god if I catch you trying to get a peek, I will beat you down and attach the nipple pumps to your swarthy face.

Thank you for your prompt attention in this matter.

Me

Production.

Yesterday had mixed results as we attempted to celebrate our first Halloween with a little one. (Having a two-month old eliminated most parties from consideration. Yup, we are now lame.) I found out about a few things going on in the community, though, and overall had fun. (By the way, I dressed David as a strawberry. His dad seems convinced it will be a reason for him to hate me in about ten years. David himself seemed above all, indifferent.)

We stopped by the Kennedy School. In addition to offering trick or treating for the kids, they also had a special radio program. St. James Infirmary was performed by the Willamette Radio Workshop. We didn't get to stay long, on account of someone getting fussy. It was a lot of fun though, and reminded me of Prairie Home Companion. It will be worthwhile to check out again next year.

A few of the neighborhood businesses offered trick or treating for the kids. It seemed silly to take an infant out to collect candy, but we did stop by one store where he got a wooden top.

Our own attempt to pass out candy was an utter failure. We didn't get a single taker. I guess the work of going house to house to collect candy a single piece at a time is an inferior choice when there is a restaurant just down the street where you can get a bag full of candy in one single stop...

Commiseration.

Some of you may have already heard this story about a four month old baby being denied health insurance. Apparently, he is in the 99th percentile for weight, and insurers don't take babies above the 95th percentile.

Can I comment on how grateful we are that we didn't have to go through this. (This is said by the parents of a baby who was off the chart for height and weight at his two month check-up yesterday. Yup, above the 100th percentile. What is it about these breast fed baby boys?)

Introduction.

Meet David.

Acquisition.

Due to the increasing heat, and the utter lack of skirts or dresses that fit right now, I went shopping yesterday. I purchased this dress:



When Chris saw it, he said it looked like a Vera Bradley purse.

I guess I see what he means.

Completion.

Likely no one has noticed, but there has been a lack of updates on my progress with my self-imposed reading list. This is because I have spent the last five months reading the same freaking book. The book is Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson. I read Snowcrash, and really liked his style of writing. Chris read Cryptonomicon first, and was actually laughing out loud. Figuring it must be good if A.) he was able to finish it rather quickly and B.) it appealed to his reading sensibilities, it seemed like a no-brainer to add it to my reading list.

Yup, that was way back in January.

I'm usually able to get through books rather quickly, and please don't mistake me, it is a really interesting and engaging book. Stephenson seems to add these really thorough asides within the book though. For example, in order to give some context for the book, there was a hefty chapter on math theory. This is what tripped me up. (Or in that case, kept putting me to sleep.)

So in summary, it is an excellent book, but perhaps it is best to set aside a month or two to read it.